Rodney

Aug 10

Dear Jenny,

It’s me. Rodney. It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve last spoke. Since I’ve spoken with you. Look, I miss you, Jenny. I really do. I know it’s hard to believe, you know… considering… Well, I do. I think about you every night. Every time I come, it’s your crying eyes I see.

Listen, I’m trying. I’m here now, at the camp. It’s a camp for workers. Up north, in the oil sands. It’s this huge refinery or something. A large plant the size of a city. Jenny, they give you a room in one of the camps, right? It’s in a unit. Not large, but you get three meals a day and the pay is really good.

The plant that I’m working at smells like an open grave on the face of the Earth.

The walls here are paper thin. The ones in the units separating the rooms. I can hear my neighbor clearly from my bed. He coughs and farts and stomps around and I think he jerks off with a belt tight around his neck. A pervert. You know, when you consider how many guys must have blown their loads on the floor of my room…

I’m trying, Jenny. I’ve been very polite and courteous since I’ve got here. I hold the doors open for people and try to smile a lot. I say please and thank you as much as I can. I’ve been super nice to the kitchen staff. And I have yet to insult my co-workers. I have yet to threaten anyone. I’m trying very hard to be a good person.

The machine I get to run is a forklift. She’s beautiful! Two four-feet long forks lead me like the raised spears of a blood thirsty cavalry. If I was so inclined to, I could charge through one of the smoke pits during the peak hours. When everyone is standing there. I could impale and crush the whole lot of them in one violent blow.

I won’t though. I promise you, Jenny. I’m trying very hard.

Wish me luck today. I’ll be good.

I miss you Jenny.

I wish… you know. I’m sorry.

Your loving and changed man,

Rodney

Aug 13

Dear Jenny,

Did you know that in 2007, this plant had a fatality? They tell you this stuff during what is called “orientation”. Seems that a man working at heights wasn’t properly tied off, you know. With a rope or something. He fell, hitting the ground with the force of a sledge hammer. He was forty feet above the concrete. I’ve asked around but no one seems able to tell me if he hit the ground head first.

In 2008, an electrician made a simple mistake and shocked himself on damaged copper wiring. The strength of the current was apparently high enough that his body seized and his fists melted into the wires. I bet he shit himself. The man held on until he was fried. I wonder if he smelled of crisp meat and bubbling fat?

It’s difficult, Jenny. Everywhere I go, there are people. So many people. In the kitchen, in the recreation. Fucking people. The buses that take us from the camps to the factory. People. People. Every morning is a full bus. A man sat down next to me this morning. He just started talking. He hopped right into a conversation with me and he wouldn’t shut up! I couldn’t say anything. I thought I was going to cry.

I got to learn a few names. I work on occasions with a Mike, a Paul, another Mike and Andy. Two Mikes. I can never remember which is which. I don’t think it really matters. Both Mikes, they are nothing more than blood and guts on the inside anyway. Right?

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have added that last part. That was bad. Bad Rodney, right? Bad. That was bad.

I’m trying really hard, Jenny. For you. I’m still holding the doors open and smiling. Smiling so hard it hurts. But it isn’t easy. No one thanks you. No one smiles bad. Don’t these assholes see how much effort I’m putting into being nice?! If only they knew. Maybe then they would be more inclined to say thank you every once in a fucking while!

My neighbor. I can hear every goddamn word he says in his room when he’s on the cell phone. I guess he has a wife and a daughter. A teenager. I think she’s been skipping class, a real troublemaker. I hear everything going on in my unit. Every damn person living around me. Like a constant buzzing of a beehive. Buzz buzz buzz! I’m getting no sleep at night.

There’s a smoke pit near this pond. I guess the pond is where they dump some toxic waste or something like that. I don’t know. Relax, Jenny. I’m not smoking. That’s the old Rodney. I quit. I just like to park my machine there and hang out with the smokers. Maybe tomorrow I’ll try to talk to someone there. Maybe make a friend. I would like that very much.

From the pit you can hear the blank shots going off. See, they use these harmless cannons or guns to scare off ducks so they stay away from the unhealthy shit. It’s like constant sniper shots being fired from the unseen depths of the factory.

The roast last night tasted like raw flesh and I pushed the soap in to my ass during my shower. I’m sorry.

Jenny, I miss you. I wish it could be different. I have to end this now. They gave me a radio to call me when I have something to do. It keeps going off with people calling me and it’s making me angry.

Love,

Rodney

Aug 14

Dear Jenny,

The cleaning girl who handles the rooms is pretty. Not like you, but she’s far from ugly. I came on my sheets this morning. It excites me to know she’ll be touching my cum.

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be thinking that. Bad Rod! Bad!

Last night in the kitchen, they had macaroni and cheese on the menu. This very fat man sat at my table and his plate of overflowing with it. They looked like squirming little maggots coated with puss. He ate through it like it was his last meal. Little yellow maggots sticking to his bottom lip, mashed within his mouth in to a tasteless pale paste. I couldn’t stop staring. I though I was going to puke.

The girls at camp have separate units. Units with only girls in them. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m sorry, Jenny. There was this one girls today in the smoke pit today. The pit near the shots. She’s very pretty, with nice hair and a hot body. Her cunt smelled of lemons through her jeans.

She looked familiar. I’m sure I’ve seen her before. I could have sworn I’ve seen her in a porno getting gangbanged roughly, crying hard as she choked on a cock. I was too shy to ask though.

Last night, my neighbor was jerking off. I’m sure of it. The bed was squeaking and banging against the wall.. He was arguing with his daughter about her skipping school. I think he was jerking off to that. I think yelling at his daughter gets him off. I bet she’s hot.

I didn’t bring a lunch today. I had a dream that maggots were crawling in to my dick. I had to jerk off in the shower this morning, just to make sure it wasn’t real. I came in to my palm and rubbed it on the shower. Can you just imagine? The next guy to take a shower, he’ll be showering in my semen! Hahaha!

I’m sorry.

On the bus this morning, a girl sat next to me. She smelled of blood. I think she’s on her period. She wanted to touch my crotch. She didn’t say it but I can tell these things. Slut.

Did I tell you they have units just for the girls?

FUCKING RADIO WON’T FUCKING SHUT UP! RODNEY DO THIS! RODNEY DO THAT! FUCK YOU! I’LL KILL YOU! JUST SHUT UP! LEAVE ME ALONE!

I’m sorry, Jenny. That was bad of me. I’m sorry. Maybe Dr. Andrews was wrong. Maybe coming up here was a bad idea.

The cleaning girl has keys to every room in my unit. Can you believe that? Being trusted with such power. I bet she rubs everyone’s toothbrush against her clit. We’re all brushing our teeth with her snatch. Clit paste. Haha!

I’m sorry. I’m ending this now. The FUCKING RADI

Aug 16

Dear Jenny,

I wrote yesterday but it was bad so I tore it up. But I still want to ask. Why? Why did you do it? We could have been

Last night’s dinner was liver and children. I sat alone. I think everyone is avoiding me. What am I doing wrong? I hold doors open and I smile until it hurts and I say hi. Why can’t I make friends up here? Why does everyone seem to hate me? Well, no more. Fuck them. Sorry, Jenny, but I won’t be taken advantage of anymore.

I’m sorry, Jenny. I have a confession to make. Please don’t be angry. I brought the sharp. The same one. I’m sorry. I packed it in my suitcase and brought it with me. I know I did something very bad. Bad Rodney! BAD BAD BAD!

I won’t take it out of the bag. I promise.

I’m playing with my dick underneath my coveralls. It’s that girl at the smoke pit. The exploding sniper smoke pit. I bummed a smoke off her and she gave me one. It tasted like her finger. I tried to talk with her but she said she had to go back to work. She smiled at me.

Her name is… fuck, I forgot.

I wish those shots were real. A disgruntled employee with a rifle trying to kill as many smokers as possible. And I could save that girl somehow. I could save the girl by grabbing her and carrying her off as people die around us. I could take her to the tool crib and in the chaos she would thank me. She would get down on her knees and choke herself to death on my cock.

I mean… sorry.

Sorry. Bad Rod.

The man who sat beside me on the bus today touched my leg. Fucking queer. I’ll kill him if he thinks I’ll suck his dick! Sorry.

I would make a great cleaning person. Better than the bitch we have right now. She made my bed and cleaned the floor but she left my waste basket full! What are they paying her for? I would do a better job. I don’t even need the keys. I could tell her boss that. They would hire me on the spot. I have the tools with me. I still remember what Dad taught me. I should put that on my resume. A locksmith for a father. A family business. I should tell them. I would be so much better than that cunt.

I bet her ass is tight.

I can’t say that. I don’t mind being an operator. I’m good at it. My foreman has even hinted about carrying me on to the next job when this one is done. Isn’t that great? I think he wants to be friends! That’s good, right? Good Rodney.

I hope you can see how hard I’m trying, Jenny. I hope you can see your Rodney from the bottom of the river.

I love you,

Rodney

Aug 17

FUCK YOU! THE FUCKING RADIO CALLING ME! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!

I’LL KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL! THE SMOKE PIT BITCH! THE COOKS! THE WORKERS! LIKE A SNIPER SCARING OFF DUCKS! BANG BANG BANG! FUCK YOU FOREMAN! FUCK YOU SUPERVISOR! FUCK YOU! I’M DOING MY JOB! LEAVE ME ALONE!

IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, DR. ANDREWS! YOU TOLD ME TO DO THIS! COME UP HERE! MAKE SOME FUCKING FRIENDS AND GOOD MONEY! FUCK YOU!@ WHEN I GET BACK HOME I’M COMING TO YOUR HOUSE! CUT YOUR HEAD OF WITH MY SHARP! PUT IT IN YOUR CHAIR! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME NOW, ASSHOLE?

DON’T THINK I’LL DO IT? I’LL PICK THE LOCKS TO THE GIRL’S UNIT! RAPE EVERY SINGLE WHORE WHO FAILS TO THANK ME FOR HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN! SEE ME SMILING NOW, YOU CUNTS? DEAD MOMMIES AND DAUGHTER, THEIR MUTILATED BODIES COATED IN CUM! HAHAHAHA! LET THE CLEANING CUNT DEAL WITH THE MESS! SHE’LL LEAVE THE WASTE BASKET FUL! HAHAHAHA!

THIS IS YOUR FAULT, JENNY! YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE SAID THAT! YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT ME!

I HOPE THEY NEVER FIND YOU!

HAHAHA!

Aug 18

Jenny,

Yesterday was not a good day. My neighbor’s snoring is loud. I can hear him breathing. I can’t sleep. The foreman and the supervisor had a talk with me and it upset me. I thought I was doing just fine. I thought I was making a friend. The radio keeps calling for me and I’m just so tired. So tired.

The cleaning girl didn’t empty my waste basket yet so I came on the pillowcase. I pretended it was her mutilated face I was coming on. I’m so lonely up here. Last night’s dinner was lasagna. I pretended it was the girl seated across from me. Yum! Bloody pussy juice dripping off my chin. Your cunt tastes like week old shit, bitch. When she caught me staring I didn’t bother to smile.

I hate this place.

I’ve been checking the newspapers since I got here. They still haven’t found your bloated body yet. You cow. You fucking bitch. Is the river cold?

On the bus no one sat next to me. I don’t care. Every second I was hoping we’d crash. The bus flipping on to its side. People screaming in horror and flailing like rag dolls. Smashing their heads open on the steel window frames. The engine on fire. KABOOM! All dead.

I hate this place. I’ve been at the smoke pit more often now. I sit and smoke. I kept the radio off all morning and just sat and smoked. The hot bitch, she came down a few times. Would she submit if she knew I had my sharp inside my coveralls? Oh yes. Security at the gates don’t search people on the buses. Snuck it in with my lunch. Five sandwiches in a paper bag to hide a sharp. I won’t eat them. I’ll throw it in the pond for the ducks.

She wouldn’t say no. Not with a shiny sharp waving in her face. She’d lie down. She’d submit. Right there in the smoke pit. Her jeans torn down, crying as I force my fist in to her asshole, the sharp on her neck. The workers falling around us, shot down by the sniper shots. All dead. I would slit her throat just to feel her ass squeeze around my fist.

Is the river cold, love?

The foreman asked me if my radio was on. I told him that the battery might be dead. He’s getting me a new one but I don’t think I’ll turn my radio on at all today.

I just don’t care anymore.

You shouldn’t have left me, cunt.

Rodney

Aug 19

Dear Dr. Andrews,

If you are reading this, I might be dead.

I tried. I tried and I failed. I’m bad. Bad Rodney! Very fucking bad.

No sleep again. My neighbor was on the phone again, arguing with his daughter over school and then with his wife over their daughter.

I hope they serve diced up newborn babies for dinner.

Tomorrow is my last day for this stretch. I get four days off. I get to go home during that time. You better hope I don’t, Dr. Andrews. I blame you. Your daughter is how old now? Nine? Ten? Old enough to bleed.

I hate this life.

I’ve decided to take the initiative, Doctor. I think I should. Tonight, I’m eating my supper. I’ll go back to my room. I’ll come on the wall and then wait until midnight.

Doctor, Rodney is dead. There’s just me now and I’m done trying.

Picking the lock won’t be hard and with the way my neighbor snores I’m sure he won’t hear me come it. I could sneak in undetected. After I gouge his neck open I’ll pull the throat out and ram the shreds into his mouth. With his cell phone I’ll take pictures. I plan to take many.

I was granted half a day tomorrow so I can drive home but I’m not leaving my camp at noon.

The kitchen carries plastic forks for us to take with our lunch. I grabbed a couple. Tonight when I kill my neighbor, I’m snapping the prongs of one fork into the keyhole to his room. That should make it impossible for the cleaning girl to unlock it.

If killing him gets me hard, I’ll come on the floor of my room. Tomorrow morning, I’ll come on the chair I have.

At noon, when I get back to the camp, I’ll wait in my room. The cleaning girl comes in the afternoon. I found out yesterday when I asked her about picking locks.

If she tries my neighbor’s door first, I hope she waits on reporting the jam and moves on to mine. Maybe she comes to mine first. Regardless, I’ll be in my room, in the closet. When she comes in, I’m slitting her throat. I’m cutting off her head and hands and leaving them in my full waste basket. Then I’ll jam my door with the second fork.

At this point, I’ll send the pictures of my mutilated neighbor to his daughter. I’ll send it with a message.

STAY IN SCHOOL, YOU COW! HAHAHA!

I don’t know what I’ll do then. Maybe I’ll go to the all-girl units. Pick the locks to those on night shift. Stab the sleeping girls in their stomachs and rape them as they die. Fill as many of them as I can with cum.

Maybe I’ll just wait for the smoke pit bitch to return from work. Follow her into her unit. Pick her lock and maybe catch her undressing. Rape her face at sharp point. I could ram my cock deep until she gags and pukes on my balls. Then I could cut her eyes out and shove them up her pussy so she can finally see herself the way everyone else does.

I could always just barge in to the kitchen and go on a massacre. Slice and dice! Kill as many fuckers as I can. Bodies crashing down on stewed virgin schoolgirls and abortion chowder. Kill everyone I can!

Either way, I’m going out with a bag. Like a sniper scaring away ducks as he takes out everyone in the smoke pit. Bang.

As for you, Dr. Andrew, if things go according to plan, I might not get the chance with you. That’s fine. When you read about it in the paper or see it on the news, when the finally fish Jenny’s corpse out of the river, I want you to remember this.

This is all your fault. You suggested I come up here.

I’m tired of trying.

Goodbye.

Rodney

Aug 20

Dear Jenny,

I slept great. Best since I got here.

Now that the snoring stopped.

I have a busy day ahead of me. It’s almost noon.

I just wanted you to know, before I do this.

Did you go to hell for leaving me?

If not, I’m coming to heaven to drag you down with me.

You can’t leave me, you cunt. You’ll be my bitch now.

For eternity.

Love,

Rodney

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